Tomorrow is the beginning of LGBTQ+ Pride Month. I’m sure some of you are asking: “Why do the queers get a month of recognition?” Well, let me tell you a story…

On October 7, 1998, Matthew Shepard, a gay college student from Laramie, Wyoming, was found tied to a fence, following a brutal beating by two men he met at a bar. The outcry following that incident shocked Americans across the country.

For a while, American society heeded the warnings of pockets of out of control hatred. The military instituted “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Recruiters weren’t allowed to ask about sexual orientation, and LGBTQ service members weren’t allowed to talk about it. I had served my enlistment by then, but didn’t see much of a difference between that “compromise” and what I lived through as an enlisted sailor. I’m sure the investigations continued and I know the closet door remained firmly closed.

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know I’m lesbian, so this is a topic near and dear to my life. I wrote this commentary in the Monday, October 12, 1998, edition of the Rocky Mountain Collegian.

‘Gay-bashing’ isn’t always physical

Matthew Shepard is fighting for his life.

In what is being described as a vicious case of gay-bashing, the 21-year-old University of Wyoming political science freshman was brutally beaten and found tied “like a scarecrow” to a fence outside of Laramie Wednesday.

A Friday Denver Post article described Shepard as a small man, just 5 foot, 2 inches tall and weighing all of 105 pounds, and he chose to attend the University of Wyoming because it was his father’s alma mater.

While Laramie residents were shocked by the savage nature of the beating, few were surprised that an openly gay man was singled out and beaten almost to death. Some blamed it on the “conservative cowboy culture” prevalent in the area. I blame it on fear, ignorance and bigotry.

Openly gay men and lesbians are attacked daily in this country. Although not all attacks are as brutal as the one on Matthew Shepard, most are not physical attacks at all.

How many of us lost friends or family when we came out? How many of us lost jobs or were denied service because we are gay or lesbian? Or even perceived to be gay or lesbian?

Being gay is not a choice. If it were, do you really think so many people would choose to put their lives at risk? If sexual orientation is a choice, I want to know when you decided you were going to be attracted to a person of a member of the opposite sex.

My mom once asked me how I could get married, have kids, then “all of a sudden decide” that I was lesbian. It’s not that simple.

I spent years trying to make myself believe I was “socially normal.” I fought my inner feelings. I met my first lesbian and knew I’d been denying my true self. It wasn’t easy coming to terms with my sexual orientation, but knew I could no longer live a lie.

Many of my sisters and brothers are forced to live that lie. Our government perpetuates the prejudice against gays and lesbians by holding on to its obsolete ban on homosexuals in the military. Why?

The truth of the matter is that if military officials actually managed to discharge all of the gays and lesbians, not only would they have spent billions of your tax dollars, but military readiness would be severely affected.

I know, I spent six years in the Navy living with the fear that I would be investigated and dishonorably discharged, not because I did anything wrong, but because I am a lesbian.

Gays and lesbians everywhere in this country live with a certain amount of fear. Many of us can no longer deny who we are, to ourselves or to anyone else. Many of us open ourselves up to the risks involved with being openly gay, just like Matthew Shepard did.

Those of us who are out and open bring awareness to our communities and strength to our sisters and brothers who either can’t be out or are too afraid to be out.

Until the people of this country learn to tolerate and embrace the differences that make each of us unique, hate crimes will continue to happen.

These things don’t happen in a vacuum—the unspoken attitudes of our greater society perpetuate the hate.

It’s up to us to change it—by stepping out of the closet and into the light.

On your way out, say a prayer for Matthew Shepard.

~~~
I wrote this before I knew Matthew had succumbed to his injuries. In the years since Matthew’s passing, the tides of the LGBTQ+ community has risen and fallen with the political waters. We can’t go backward, forward is our only option. Because the LGBTQ+ community is the canary in the coal mine, believe it or not. If the current atmosphere is this toxic toward such a small minority, what do you think will happen when the scrutiny is turned toward you?

Inquiring minds want to know.